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How to resolve conflict-A path for you

Most people end up in court because they cannot resolve conflicts. What follows is a simple process to consider for resolving conflicts with whomever you have a dispute with:

  1. Identify the problem
  1. Don’t blame.
  2. Restate the problem from the other person’s perspective.
  3. Write down the agreed upon statement of the problem.
  1. Brainstorm lots of solutions. Hold off on evaluating good from bad.
  1. Alternate eliminating the one you like the least.
  2. Keep solutions you may not like but could live with.
  3. Stop when you have it narrowed down to a few.
  1. Find a solution. It might be one or a combination.
  1. Don’t let the disagreement drag on; come to an agreed upon solution even if you really think it is merely “adequate”. Adequate is good. A good settlement is always one that neither party is really happy with.
  2. Make sure you understand the details (who, what, where, when, and why). Write it down.
  3. Agree to disagree, if necessary and decide how to deal with your disagreement. (Mediation, Court, try again later, different mediator, let someone else decide, radical acceptance)
  1. Move forward past the disagreement.
  1. Find ways to make it work. Commit to the plan.
  2. When problems occur, work together to modify the plan or seek help.