Here is what your divorce lawyer isn't saying but wishes you knew when it comes to you cheating on your spouse:
1. We get it. You cheated. A lot of marriages fall apart for this reason. Quit justifying your behavior, stop making excuses and stop blaming the other party for why you cheated. You cheated and it was and always will be a terrible mistake, a major lapse in judgment and a bad idea.
2. You need to say that you're sorry. Not just to the spouse you cheated on but also to your children. You didn't just break your spouse's heart but you broke your children's heart. You took half of the time they had to spend with both of you and wiped it away by having an affair. There were probably a myriad of other problems in your relationship but you nailed the coffin shut when you cheated. You are clueless if you don't get how this bad decision has impacted your children. If you really don't get it spend some time thinking about this bad decision from your children's perspective.
3. After you say that you're sorry figure out how to move on. Stop talking about it.
4. Do not advertise the relationship you are having with this other person to your friends, family, facebook and/or the world. Whether you realize it or not no one wants to hear about it. You cheated. Continue to keep it on the "down low" until long after the divorce is final. This is your best chance at getting others to accept the person you are with and even then it will probably take a lot of time for anyone to even like the new person you are with. Certainly don't introduce this person to your children at any time in the foreseeable future. Go back to paragraph two and read it again.
Finally, stop feeling guilty because you cheated. Cheating isn't a reason in Missouri to give your spouse more than half of the marital estate, a reason to pay more in child support or to pay maintenance or attorney fees. The garden variety affair doesn't get you anything so don't give anything away.